We went to the air show and everywere I looked were pregnant women, it is so frustrating. I realize that I would no longer be pregnant at this point, but it is so hard to see big bellies. I try not to notice them, but I also find myself looking at every women's stomach when she walks by me. I think now it is because I want so badly to be pregnant again and now I am just scared that I won't be able to get pregnant for some reason, so I am jealous of everyone else that is. Sometimes I swear I am going crazy. After the air show we came home and Aiden and Seth did some fireworks and we sent a memorial lantern to heaven for Amelia. I was excited to do it, but the second I let go of the lantern the tears started flowing like a waterfall. I had this whole vision of taking a close up picture of the lantern and then watching it float to heaven, but I just couldn't do it. This wasn't what we were supposed to be doing on the Fourth of July. I wanted to do something special for Amelia for her 1st Fourth of July, and I just hope she liked it! Here is the one picture that Seth took of the lantern before it got to far away!
. It is so hard at holidays and special days. We are at six months also...big sigh. I miss that little guy. I want to be be pregnant also and every month is like a jab in the heart:( Saying a prayer for you now my friend.
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